Too often times we go through each day unconsciously. What would your life look like if you were living more consciously and authentically? In other words, when your choices throughout each day are in alignment with your values, you are probably happier. If for example, you value health but don’t exercise and eat fried foods each day, you would be creating internal conflict for yourself. If, instead, you value health and work out 3-4 times a week and eat healthy, you are living authentically and consciously.
What areas of your life need more authenticity?
Relationships are typically an area where many people are not true to themselves. A client I once had, let’s call her Sue, was married for many years. She and her husband had a relatively good marriage, had raised their kids and now it was ‘their time’. She started therapy to understand why she still wasn’t happy. Her kids were flourishing in their lives, she and her husband were about to become grandparents for the first time, they didn’t worry about finances..so what was the problem? After a few sessions she began to see clearly that she wasn’t being true to herself. She was actually betraying herself by not speaking up and asking for what she needed from her husband. While it may seem trivial to some, she always wanted him to bring her flowers or some small token that would suggest he thought about her during the day. Yet for him, spending money wasn’t a way to express love and appreciation. While Sue had told him many times over the years that him sending her chocolates, flowers or anything would make her happy, he still didn’t understand why this was important to her. We worked on her finding a way to express to him what it would mean to her on a deeper level. Sue then was able to find words that were an authentic and conscious expression of this need. She told him that if he were to send or bring her something once a week, she would feel he is thinking of her, she would feel important to him, she would feel a romantic connection to him. He got it.
People are not mind readers. We need to tell them honestly, openly, authentically, and consciously what we need, think, feel and desire. But just because we tell them, doesn’t guarantee we get what we need. All we can do is be real. However they choose to respond is up to them.
if you were to make one small change today and live more authentically, what would you be doing differently? What would you want to say that you’ve been holding back? Try it..you never know, you might just get what you want. But even if you don’t, you can rest easy that you are living your life in a very real way!